Sitting down to pee, I saw this sign in the faculty bathroom at school.
Being who I am, it brought to mind a number of questions.
If, on the list of things that keeps you awake at night, you have ever found yourself wondering what Teach thinks about while she’s doing Number One, hold on to your hats. (Or your panties, as the case may be.)
This is the blog post for you.
Thoughts From The Faculty Bathroom During The Three Minutes Of My Day I Have To Pee
- Huh. Look at that. A sign telling me how to get toilet paper, should I need it. How nice.
- If it’s necessary to post a sign instructing people on how to get toilet paper, just how often does this bathroom run out?
- What in the world are people doing in here to run out of toilet paper that frequently?
- Ew. I just grossed myself out with my own imagination.
- But wait..if I were to call the main office, would they actually deliver the paper to me in the bathroom?
- How awkward would that be since this is a one-holer?
- Ew. I just grossed myself out again.
- Why are they instructing me to call the office from a room that has no phone? Is the assumption that in this modern society everyone pees with a phone in hand?
- Since I’m the one who just snapped a picture of this sign, am I off base in thinking that it’s funny to assume everyone pees with a phone?
- How did TP duty fall to the main office? Are budget cuts actually so bad that the entire custodial staff has been eliminated?
- And why does it say NO toilet paper with capital letters underlined? Have too many people been calling where there’s only SOME toilet paper?
- Ooooh…wook at da widdle cutesy-wootsey happy toilet paper. Hi, happy little toilet paper! Who invented cute little toilet paper clip art?
- Why did someone invent cute little toilet paper clip art? Did they foresee a need for “call the main office signs” decorated with their mini-masterpieces?
- How does one get a job description that involves “will create adorable little friendly toilet paper drawings”?
- Holy sh*t! How long have I been in here looking at widdle toilet paper clip art? Am I late for class?
- Whew. Lucky me. At least there’s toilet paper here today.